Just when I thought I knew myself
I’ve always prided myself on knowing myself. I know who I am, what I want, and where I want to be in life. For example, I’ve been writing since I was a child and my life goal was always to be a professional writer. When I was little I used to envision myself at bookstores… Read More
Breaking The Habit – Compulsive Texting
As someone who has OCD, I have some bad habits that I don’t necessarily have control over. One of them is compulsively texting people, especially dudes, when I am feeling emotional or insecure. This can be a deterrent in romantic relationships. In the long term relationships that I’ve had I get triggered by certain things… Read More
Facing Fears
Facing fears. I have a lot of them. I was in my therapist’s office and she asked me what I was afraid of. There were too many things to name. I couldn’t even go there. I wanted to figure out what they were but my throat started to close up. I wanted to speak but… Read More
I am terrible at breaking up with people
Let’s face it, breakups suck. I’m not good at dumping people because I hang onto the relationship more than I should. I want to salvage it but sometimes they’re not salvageable. I just feel so bad when I hurt someone’s feelings. I mean, unless you’re a total sociopath you don’t deserve to be hurt like… Read More
I’m Not An Extrovert So Stop Calling Me One!
People assume that I am an extrovert. According to the Myers-Briggs test that I’ve taken, I am not. I am an introverted individual and fall under the category of INFP. You can learn more about what that means by taking the test yourself, but I’m intuitive and empathetic and I help people get in touch with their… Read More
External Validation
External validation is something that many human beings struggle with. As somebody who lives with panic and anxiety, I often want reassurance from other people when it isn’t necessarily the most healthy thing for me. It’s hard to be able to reassure yourself and show yourself that things are going to be OK when you… Read More
This is Not About Me, It’s About You
It’s not about me, it’s about you. I want too many things, I need too much, too often, and at once. What is too much anyway? The only things that are too much are quantifiable. Like when you pour a liquid into a cup and it overflows, or when you’re told to only write a… Read More
Finding the answer within
What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Well, the important thing is that you figure it out. But sometimes we are clueless when it comes to that. It’s not like you can just stop and have an instant solution. You can’t snap your fingers and be OK with the unknown. There… Read More
Childhood on The UWS
It was nice seeing one of my oldest friends today. It brought me back to my childhood on the UWS. Walking up 87th Street, seeing the crack dens. I passed the halfway house. Saw the Vietnam Veteran who had TBI and talked to himself. I was told a grenade blew up in front of him. I… Read More
He Will Get The Help He Needs
He will get the help he needs. For two weeks I was on autopilot, doctors appointments, trips to the Emergency Room, medical residents who didn’t know what they were doing, diagnoses being thrown around and me questioning everything. All of it. Social Anxiety, O.D.D., Zoloft, therapy, ADHD, pediatric bipolar disorder, hyperfocus, technology addiction. This was/is my… Read More