I Still Don’t Have My Shit Together

As a 30 something year old woman, I have achieved a great deal of professional success, but I still don’t have my shit together.

I have been on the front page of the Washington Post and I have been interviewed in The New York Times. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I founded a nonprofit organization for people living with mental illness. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I went from being a blogger to a professional writer in seven years. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I have won multiple awards for my writing and been recognized by large communities of prestigious people. Still, I do not have my shit together.

I am raising two children in the one of the most expensive cities in the entire country.

And yet still, I do not have my shit together.

I graduated from New York University with a 3.4 GPA. I am a smart and attractive woman. But still, I do not have my shit together.

What does it mean to have one’s shit together? I’m not sure, but every day I feel like I do not have it together. I can’t find my keys, I’m consistently broke, I barely make it through the day without having a self loathing thought, I am a needy anxious individual. I compulsively text my friends and sometimes my texts are inappropriate. I lose things, my house is a mess, and I’m a mess most of the time.

I do not have my shit together.

But…

What if I told you that nobody really has their shit together?

Well it’s true.

For every flaw I just listed, there are things that I am good at. I’m a loyal friend, I’m a great mom, I’m a supportive romantic partner and I am a passionate tenacious person and I use that for the good of the world.

I am an empath. And I like to help people in whatever way that I can. I don’t give up ever even if it feels like things are not working out, I know they will work out in the way that they’re supposed to.

Still, I don’t have my shit together.

And you know what? I don’t think I ever fucking will. But it doesn’t matter. Because I know that having your shit together is overrated. Having your shit together is a myth.

If you think you don’t have your shit together you’re right. But you’re still a wonderful person. I am sitting next to you at the lunch table and I don’t have my shit together either.